/rant 1

One thing I have noticed about this country is that when you have talked to someone much older than yourself, say someone is in their late 50's, they have a knack for telling you that THIS country is as good as it gets, that THIS country is going to support you when the going gets tough. What a load of horseshit, some people are too damn afraid of change, too afraid of what good might come if you spread your wings and such. The Germans sure are a bunch of sad people. Yes, I am German yet I do not see this as my country of origin, nor do I feel any connection to it, I am a child of the world, I am not confined to one speck of land on the European landmass. A friend of my mom's actually said something along the lines of "you're German, you're going to remain here and why you haven't done an apprenticeship like the rest of us is beyond me." I am sorry but I don't care about Germany's ideals, I was raised in a country which is based on British ideals.

/rant part 2

I just finished watching the third season of Scrubs and I've come to a realization. Love happens rarely and sure it sucks but when you see the one person you do love walk away you hurt and try to forget that they exist so that you don't hurt more, but the more you do, the more it pains. Sure the movies or stories tell you that you'll find another, but is that true? Not always.

I am sorry that I have let that person go when I did and it probably was the biggest mistake I made but I can't change what has happened, all I can do is talk to her in person and talk it out,I don't know what she'll do or say but some things just have to be left to chance. I don't know when I can talk to her face to face but it'll happen soon, so if she can hold out a little longer I'll try to make amends soon.

/end